Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
