i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
