This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
