should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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