we have pet lesbian snakes
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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