One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What happened to fro yo and sex?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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