So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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