All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
