Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
