i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
