I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
