this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
