She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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