Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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