I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
