My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
