So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
