why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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