I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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