We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
