'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
