We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
