We won't sleep together?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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