My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
