i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
