i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
