So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
