Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
