Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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