Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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