Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
