At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
