woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
