dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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