I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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