i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
