My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
