umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
third nipple confirmed
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
