So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
