she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
