im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
