oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it's like iHOP with fire
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
