i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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