alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize