problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
