No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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