she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
