don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My vagina just clenched in fear
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
