She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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