we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize