Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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