We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He felt like a one man threesome
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
