apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
